What Matters to Me Most: Clarity, Confidence, & Purpose
My Wellness Journal
It's interesting how my life has changed this year, starting my day with lemon water and a digestive enzyme instead of coffee, eating a protein-heavy breakfast with tea, sleeping well, and waking on my own around 6 am every day, and now here I am today, trying to begin a new habit of writing every morning for a few minutes...shooting for 30 days to start with.
Yesterday, while I was outside working, I turned on a podcast on Spotify. Erik Fisher's "Beyond the To-Do List" is one of my more recent finds. I ended up listening to two of them yesterday, and they were both so relevant and striking to me that I have been thinking of them ever since.
#1 The first podcast was "Jon Acuff on Finishing, Fighting Perfectionism and Completing Your Goals." Finishing things...this is a topic I've talked with my wonderful husband about many times. I'm tired of having half-finished projects everywhere. It's hard because around here sometimes something else has to take priority over a project that is already started. Sometimes weather dictates we leave a project for later, and we begin working on something inside only to move back to weeding (yes, it's weeding that usually seems to throw a crimp in our progress on projects), leaving the inside projects to sit idly by until it rains again. But really...we need to work harder to finish the things we've started. I know our stress levels would go down significantly if we didn't have half-finished projects taking up space, making messes, and haunting us every time we turn around.
The second topic covered in that podcast was how to escape the perils of perfectionism. (Someone hinted to me recently that I may have a problem with this...lol.) Jon specifically addressed how to not let perfectionism be your excuse for not being productive or keep you from trying new things. One line from the podcast really stuck with me. I'm not sure if this is exactly word for word, but it was very close to this, "A 90% book that is published is so much more valuable than a 100% perfect book that is unpublished." This right here was golden for me. So many things on the farm don't have to be perfect, but they DO need to be DONE! Ding, ding, ding...I'm going to remember this line and use it to keep being productive and not getting hung up on the details. Also, how many things am I too afraid to even try, primarily because I'm afraid that I won't be perfect? The funny thing is that other people's judgment of me for not doing something "'good enough" or them thinking, "Who does she think she is?" is actually what I fear most, and how sad is it that I let that keep me from learning, growing, and expanding my skill set.
#2 The second podcast was "Allison Fallon on the Power of Writing for Clarity, Confidence, and Purpose." According to Allison, writing every day for about 20 minutes (though she recommends starting with less time if you feel 20 minutes is too long) has been scientifically proven to help reduce anxiety, curb depression, and improve confidence and creativity.
As many of you already know (or may have guessed), I have always been a writer, but I tend to only write when I feel moved to do so. I've never developed a discipline or habit of consistency with my writing. Interestingly, these super-useful podcasts happened to find their way to me just as I am supposed to be beginning a regular blog on our website. Hmmm....Well, here it is, the moment when I get real with myself and bare my soul to you. Though I have wanted to blog for years (I even set one up and posted a whopping total of 6 posts over 3 years), I am scared to death about taking this on. First, I'm afraid to commit to regular posts. You see, writing for content is a whole other ballgame than writing simply because you feel moved to put something down in words. I haven't had to do that since college. Many people have told me that I should be sharing my knowledge (gardening, pumpkins, fall, cooking, food preservation, etc), but part of me can't really believe there are people out there who want to learn from me. On top of that, these writings will be published on our page, and therefore, open me up to judgment and criticism. (Yikes!...That ugly perfectionist monster afraid of being judged is creating lots of anxiety right now!)
Having said all that, the most amazing thing to me is how everything falls into place when you're willing to move. I have numerous people who have told me over the years how much they enjoy my writing, but I wasn't ready to do any more with it. I am at that point now. I decided I was ready, and now I've been blessed with a wonderful, talented, and motivational person who is helping me navigate this new world of websites, technology, and blogging. (If you need someone like this, let me know. I'd be happy to share her info with you!) Throw in these timely podcast messages and a rainy morning to write, and you might start to think, as I have, that God's got his hand on this. It's time for me to stop being afraid and do my part so he can do his.
